Shark Week

Discovery Channel Shark Week was two weeks ago, but I just finished watching it on the internet. Sharks are officially the most badass animal to kill anything for any reason ever. My evidence is as follows:

Sharks have like 7 or 8 senses. In addition to the pissant human senses we douchebags have, sharks have organs in their snouts that sense both the electromagnetic field of the earth and the electric pulses that are generated by all living things. So, holy shit, they are like superheroes or something. Also, they can sense temperature like 1000x better than we can. They have another sensory organ down their backs that combines hearing and touch, too, like a hand-ear. So already they are infinitely better than any other animal at killing shit. They are like the Batman of the deep.

As if that weren't enough, shark's skin isn't flat or scaled, but has thousands of thousands of rows of serrated sharp things that are like the skin version of their own teeth, which they also, of course, have rows and rows of. They are covered in fucking teeth. If you rub against the grain, their skin will shred your hand.

If that weren't enough, their mouths harbor bacteria that is resistant to penicillin. So they can kill you with infection if not the attack itself. They are, like, poisonous.


Holy shit, right? It is proof that sharks don't want to kill us that we are not all dead already.

Spontaneous Combustion

10am-12pm
with Mixmaster Tiffanie and Dr. Thiele

"Starman" David Bowie (request)
"Moon Light Drive (Sunset Sound)" The Doors
"You Turn The Screws" Cake
"When I Come Around" Green Day
"Lucky Number Nine" The Moldy Peaches
"The World At Large" Modest Mouse
"You Don't Know How It Feels" Tom Petty
"Love -> Building On Fire" Talking Heads
"Kryptonite" 3 Doors Down (request)
"Dirty Boots" Sonic Youth
"Starless" King Crimson
"Bohemian Rhapsody" Queen
"Ballroom Blitz" Tia Carrere
"Going To California" Led Zeppelin
"Friday I'm In Love" The Cure
"Bike" Pink Floyd (request)
"Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss" Bloodhound Gang
"Sing" Travis
"Old Yellow Bricks" Arctic Monkeys
"Lovefool" The Cardigans
"Wonderwall" Oasis
"I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)" The Four Tops

Spontaneous Combustion

5-8pm
with Mixmaster Tiffanie and Dr. Thiele

another three hours of so much awesomeness that you might just blow up while listening to it.

"Hem Of Your Garment" Cake
"Tonight, Tonight" Smashing Pumpkins
"All My Life" Foo Fighters
"Bangs" They Might Be Giants
"Derelict" Beck
"Stay Don't Go" Spoon
"Basket Case" Green Day
"Welcome Home" Coheed and Cambria
"D Is For Dangerous" Arctic Monkeys
"Coming Back" Gotye (request)
"Breaking Up The Girl" Garbage
"Fat Bottomed Girls" Queen
"Tiny Cities Made Of Ashes" Modest Mouse
"Winter Windows" Sea Wolf (request)
"The Overly Dramatic Truth" EL-P (request)
"One Week" Barenaked Ladies
"It Could Be Sweet" Portishead
"Pain Birds" Sparklehorse
"Rock A My Soul" Pixies
"Bones" The Killers
"In The Waiting Line" Zero 7
"New Slang" The Shins
"I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You" Colin Hay
"Strange Love" Depeche Mode
"Are You Gonna Be My Girl?" Jet
"Main Offender" The Hives
"Bang Bang, You're Dead" Dirty Pretty Things
"Get Off" Dandy Warhols
"Boyz In The Hood" Dynamite Hack
"At Least That's What You Said" Wilco
"Iko, Iko" Dr. John (request)
"Zak and Sara" Ben Folds
"Pop Goes My Love" Freezepop
"Falling Away With You" Muse
"Don't Ask Me Why" My Bloody Valentine
"Immigrant Song" Led Zeppelin
"Set You Free" The Black Keys
"15 Step" Radiohead (request)
"Through Fire And Flame" Dragonforce (request)
"Holy Diver" Dio

Dr. Thiele's Old Timey Radio Hour!

Today was the genesis of the Old Timey Radio Hour. It went terribly. But not to worry, I will be back again next week to do the thing right, complete with Depression-era radio dramas and jazz. Jazz, dammit!

Psychic Dreams?

I am not usually one to put much stock in dreams, but I was so disturbed by the vivid scenes of destruction I saw last night that I feel the need to warn the world. It's too complicated to explain, so I made a picture:



I think it's a premonition.

So if a giant guinea pig attacks New York while velociraptor mounted police look on helplessly, you heard it here first.

Sponny Commie Christmas Spectacular!

"The Christmas Song" Weezer
"Joy To The World (Rap Version)" Unknown
"The Chanukah Song" Adam Sandler
"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" Bif Naked
"Up On The Housetop/Deck The Halls" The December People
"Baby It's Cold Outside" Dean Martin
"Christmas Piglet" The Presidents of the United States of America
"Carol of the Bells" The December People
"Merry Christmas Baby" Phoebe Snow
"Good King Somethingorother" Bush
"Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" Frank Sinatra
"White Christmas" Goldfinger
"Christmas Day" Sponge
"Mele Kalikimaka" Reel Big Fish
"Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" Cranes
"All I Want For Christmas Is You" Mariah Carey
"Snow" Red Hot Chili Peppers

Yes, today was the last edition of Spontaneous Combustion until 2008. Why, God, why must we have Christmas break? Ah, well, I'll probably get some presents out of it.